Your parents break your food relationship in 12 ways

no matter what you think, people may have an unhealthy relationship with food when they are very young: one study found that about a quarter of American children start dieting before the age of seven, while another study showed that 80% of 10-year-old girls said they have dieted. Although there are many different variables that affect a person's food habits and attitudes, including their genes, parents and guardians also provide a major impact. So, whether you're a parent or just a person who wants to understand their eating habits, here's a guide to what to do and what not to do about family eating culture, and some tips on how to fight emotional eating. If you think you may have eating disorders, you can ask for help.

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1. According to licensed marriage and family therapist Janet Goldstein Bauer, not teaching you how to regulate emotions is one of the most important things that leads to unhealthy relationships between people and food, which is not teaching you how to regulate emotions in a healthy way in childhood. " She told livestrong.com, does that mean you've eaten a pint of ice cream because of a bad day, or a ton of pizza because of stress before the test? It is important for parents to establish appropriate ways to deal with difficult emotions that do not involve food, such as keeping a diary or meeting friends.

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2. Dr. Andrea Thornton, a licensed clinical psychologist who pays too much attention to willpower, told livestrong.com that the media we consume constantly gives us unrealistic expectations about our bodies; many parents often achieve these expectations by over controlling the kind of food we eat. " "There's a message that if you want to be attractive, happy, successful and valuable, you have to be slim," Thornton said. At the same time, we also got a message: anyone who has enough willpower can become thin. Although we have some control over our weight, Dr. Thornton said that our size and size are actually largely determined by our genes. "We don't have as much control over our appearance as we think," she said. It sounds like a good idea for parents to reduce soda or other foods containing sugar and fat from their children's diet, but in the long run, it will actually harm their children's health. " Therapist Janet Goldstein Bauer said, "once you feel deprived of something, it's what you want, and when you get it, you eat too much." These types of behaviors can lead to overeating or over awareness of what you're eating. Instead, parents should create a healthy food balance in their pantry, including nutritious food and snacks. " If children occasionally want to eat something, let them eat something. It's all modest.

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4. Teaching good food and bad food is similar to forbidding or restricting food. Teaching children that some food is "bad" will affect their desire for food in the long run. There should be no positive or negative balance in any food. "All food is consistent with a healthy diet," Christine tcharkhoutian, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told livestrong.com. She cited an example of a healthy family mentality: "we can eat all kinds of food at home. We can eat these foods in moderation, which helps our life and enjoyment. "

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5. It's natural to criticize your appearance for gaining weight and losing weight. When parents see their children's weight is abnormal, they often feel the need to intervene out of guilt. But it's not your real responsibility as a parent. Your job is to love them, and through that love, and through self love, they will eventually find the right behavior for them. " This means avoiding commenting on a child's appearance and promoting a positive physical environment. According to therapist Janet Goldstein ball, this means "letting them know that they are beautiful, no matter how big or small or how they look, they have more than one body." Points: tweenty20 / / @ Rita. Sav

6. Even if parents don't explicitly tell their children to go on a diet, their own talk about weight and diet will directly affect their children's behavior. " Most nine year olds are not told by their parents that they need to go on a diet, and they hear their mothers and aunts say, "Oh, I've put on a lot of weight, I need to do that," says psychologist Christine chakutian. So they didn't say, my mother asked me to go on a diet, but they said, my mother is on a diet, so this is what I want to do. Teaching them to stay slim or always eat nutritious food will automatically make them happy - it's not. Credit: Twenty20 / @ lira_

7. To establish a compulsive food relationship, parents don't just express their relationship with food. Through language and diet, they also shape it through their own actions. Tcharkhoutian, for example, said that parents are not enough to let their children have ice cream every once in a while; she said that parents should also be able to give themselves ice cream every once in a while. " I think the first thing parents have to do in developing good habits is to build their relationship with food and develop good habits for themselves, "she explained.

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8. Forcing you to eat at a certain time or a certain amount of food

parents sometimes force their children to eat at a certain time or eat all the food on the plate. However, according to chaihutian, it is perfectly healthy for children to make such decisions themselves. " "They may not be hungry or want to eat all the food on the plate," she said. That would be great. They need that ability and ownership of their actions. " In order to teach the children the structure and balance of the surrounding food, chaihutian suggested that dinner should only be provided during the dinner time, but there should be other food (such as apples and yoghurt) to prevent the children from starving later. This strategy teaches children how to make their own choices around food, while also letting them "learn the limits and boundaries of choice," Chai said.

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9. More than ever, Americans prefer to eat alone rather than with their families. In fact, according to a 2015 report by the Food Marketing Institute, more than half of meals and snacks are eaten alone. But according to therapist Janet Goldstein ball, it means families lose the opportunity to connect and educate their children about food. " "If every family eats at least one home-made meal a week together, it's critical to the health of the family," she said. Because that's when everyone really connects, talks and shares what's going on in their day and week. This connection is very important for the health of the family. "

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10. Don't unplug your phone while eating. If you tend to check your phone while eating, you're not alone. Tcharkhoutian said that people now focus more on how much they can accomplish at one time, rather than trying to live in the moment. " "We use food as a distraction, not as a major activity," she said. But many of the problems we see are treated by people - a lot of anxiety, depression, uneasiness. Instead, parents should ask their children to put down their phones and turn off the TV when they eat. Tcharkhoutian explained that maintaining the status quo while eating is "a way to respect yourself and your life and keep in touch with them."

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11. With food as a reward or punishment, it's tempting to take children out to eat ice cream when they finish something, such as getting a good school report card. But according to clinical psychiatrist Andrea Thornton, developing rewards and punishments around food can foster an emotional relationship with food. " You want to spend more time together, talking to your children and letting them know how much you care about them, rather than meeting their needs by eating specific foods, "she said. It's okay to occasionally eat yourself or your child as a reward, but Dr. Thornton suggests expanding your concept of reward. Some non food related rewards include walking, spending time with friends, or reading a good book.

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12. Do not provide any guidance on food.

paying too much attention to children's food and eating habits will lead to unhealthy eating habits, but completely ignoring these things will bring a series of other problems. " "Social and cultural influences and educates where parents don't know," says tcharkhoutian, which means that children who are not taught by their parents how to eat a balanced diet seek guidance from the media, friends, or what schools offer. This could mean taking lunch from the vending machine to not having lunch at all. What's more, not spending time teaching children to eat makes them feel unimportant. " Don't worry about sending a lot of information to your children. They either don't know it or they don't care enough about their children to make rules for them, "chaike said. "Should we blame our parents?"

if we know that parents may have an unhealthy relationship with their diet or food, should we blame them? In short, the answer is No. "If you spend too much time blaming other people, it doesn't give you the ability to take responsibility for part of what you can change or what's happening right now," Dr. Thornton said. Instead, parents and guardians can be powerful allies in the healing process. " The most important thing is parents' recognition, children's forgiveness, and then they are all trying to make any change they can, "Goldstein Bauer said. It's complex and difficult to treat, so people with eating disorders such as bulimia, anorexia or overeating should seek the help of their GP, dietician or psychologist. But for those who just want to learn how to build healthier relationships with food, chaihutian suggests eating consciously. Paying attention to diet includes listening to your body's cues, eating only when you're really hungry, while conscious eating is more about purposeful choices, which sometimes have nothing to do with your physical needs. " "Sometimes you may be full and don't need to eat a birthday cake," says chakutian, "but you realize that you have to eat a birthday cake anyway, because it's your friend's birthday and you want to celebrate it." Making conscious decisions about food, rather than being blindly guided by your emotions, can help you avoid the guilt and shame that are often associated with eating disorders.

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What do you think? Have you ever struggled with an emotional diet? Do you have certain food and eating habits as a result of your growing environment? How can we learn to love our bodies? Share your thoughts in the comments area!

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